"Barbie" Was Meh, Except for One Thing
If women did this every day, we could actually change the world
Sure, fine, yes: it's a huge accomplishment for female filmmaking. Greater visibility for people of all abilities, races, and sexualities is important. Origin stories, and stories of the “hero’s journey”, give weight and authority to characters who might otherwise be dismissed as ephemeral or inconsequential. Female archetypal figures don’t often get this kind of treatment at this level of scale. Hooray!
Can we also acknowledge that cultural reframing of Barbie as a powerful archetype is happening in the context of massive-scale capitalism, with all its corresponding damage? Was there ever a Global Warming Barbie, and was she made out of compostable non-plastic materials? For that matter, how the hell do we recycle all the pre-”Barbie” Barbies, let alone the giant tsunami of new ones that Mattel has put into production? (Hey Mattel: cool that you made them from recycled ocean-bound plastic, but ever heard of end-to-end sustainability?)
In any case, purely on the level of art, I wanted to love “Barbie”, and I didn’t. So much self-conscious cleverness in the script, and so much white Feminism bandied about like one of Ken’s beach balls. On the whole I found the performances to be quite good, especially America Ferrera, who, arguably, had to do the movie’s heaviest lifting. Her now-legendary monologue was genuinely moving, though it did not specifically call out the added burdens that women of color have to carry in the world. A sequel that addresses this issue could be corrective and compelling (but Greta: hand the filmmaking over to some women of color!).
I can respect “Barbie’s” ambitious storytelling, but overall I think it missed the mark. It was a collection of interesting bits that didn’t quite work together, a necklace made of beach glass and raw gems and macaroni and rhinestones. It’s true that this is a movie about a children’s toy. When playing with dolls or anything else, children will grab whatever is in front of them, weaving it together and pumping it to life through their imagination. The logic of children’s play is the logic of dreams, and also, sometimes, of cinema. Purely on the level of images, “Barbie” is indelible.
Yet there was only one moment that I found emotionally resonant in a lasting way. It hasn’t been a big part of the cultural conversation, but it should be. It happens in the first ten minutes of the story, once Barbie and Ken have traveled to the Real World to seek the source of Barbie’s dark thoughts and physical changes. They have no apps, maps or friends to guide them, but Barbie knows exactly what to do. She sits down on a bench, banishes Ken to his own concerns, and closes her eyes. She tunes into her deepest intuition, and begins the process of active listening and visioning. It is there that she finds the direction for her quest, an instinct which guides her entire journey, and that of the larger story.
Living under Patriarchal dictates can cause women to suffer intense, aggravating self-doubt, even self-hatred, which can lead to all kinds of systemic issues. Meditation provides mental healthcare, emotional regulation and spiritual connection. But ask the women in your life and they will tell you that they simply don’t have time to do it. This is not a lie. Mothers, obviously, are preoccupied with tending to their children’s needs. Working mothers have to fit work hours into that equation. You might think that child-free women, like myself, have more time for mediation, but as we lack the built-in family structure (and, presumably, security) that comes with parenthood, we must create and maintain our own social and familial networks, which takes up a ton of time. There is also the fact that women are socially conditioned to perform “tend and befriend” behaviors, in which we compulsively smooth over and prop up the emotional states of others to ensure that our social groups keep socializing.
Make no mistake: all of this is hard-core emotional labor, and it takes a heavy toll on us. For one thing, we may become so good at “smoothing” that we completely lose our ability to handle conflict of any kind. For another, we may lose track of our authentic emotional and psychological needs, choosing to simply “go along to get along” rather than take the risk of expressing ourselves.
If all women had the time and social support to meditate regularly, to banish all the Kens and kids and just listen to our own inner voice, it would greatly improve our individual and collective self-care, self-worth and self-respect. From that foundation could come genuine revolution, the kind that moves through every level of society, even to places where women do not currently appear. I don’t believe that recreating the tenants of Barbie World should necessarily be our goal. I certainly don’t think having a female President would automatically result in guaranteed gender equality (hey GenX: remember Margaret Thatcher?). But to take the next big leap in that direction, we need courage, stamina and solidarity. Once we find our own inner voice, we can join with other women (and allies) in a deafening chorus of dissent. History continues to demonstrate that this is the only way that we will make significant progress toward a world that is neither Ken nor Barbie, but something much more inclusive, sustainable and real.
You can learn more about my work as a Power Voice coach for career women here.
And lo... some serious truth: "women are socially conditioned to perform “tend and befriend” behaviors, in which we compulsively smooth over and prop up the emotional states of others to ensure that our social groups keep socializing." 🤍🤍🤍